ONLY FANGS
Directed by: Angelica De Alba, Paul Ragsdale
Starring: Kansas Bowling, Drew Marvick, Nina Lanee Kent, Jessica Jupiter Flux
A wanna be monster hunter helps a blood thirsty gang of vampire chicks expand their business by creating a new app to turn their victims into customers.
Like the recent Scream Therapy, independent horror comedy ONLY FANGS doesn’t work as a horror, per se, but makes up for its shortcomings with a funny, witty and satirical script and a fun cast.
The film starts particularly badly, though, with a prologue set 100 years in the past, with two women fleeing a castle, only to be captured by their “master”. I got the impression that this scene was intended to be shot day for night, but the dark filters were not applied. Add to this the library music which feels out of place and expectations for the rest of the film are pretty low.
However, once the film switches to modern day and we are introduced to the lady vamps, things improve a lot. I was reminded a little of BIT more than once. Led by Scarlett (Nina Lanee Kent), the pack of vamps go on the hunt together, taking over a bar with some Coyote Ugly moves before going all Near Dark. However one girl, Reese (Kansas Bowling) has her own agenda and goes out on a date to the park with a handsome guy.
We then meet Wes, a loveable, oafish guy who with his sister Gwen and best friend are wannabe monster hunters. Wes believes that a creature still resides in the local park, after being spotted there back in the 70’s. Instead, he stumbles upon Reese feeding on her date and makes a shaky, blurred recording.
By this point in the film, the bad taste left in the mouth by the opening has dissipated. The characters are interesting and the dialogue is sharper. The online abuse Wes gets when he uploads his “cryptid” video is both funny and feels pretty relatable in that its what you would expect to happen. We meet more of his circle of friends/acquaintances, some of which as incels and misogynist manosphere enthusiasts.
We learn that Reese isn’t as jaded as her vampire sisters and wants to find a way for them to feed without resorting to killing, and uses Wes as her guinea pig. She feeds on him, but not enough to kill him. When he finds out what has happened to him, Wes is actually ecstatic and comes up with a way to make Reese’s dream a reality.
The film doesn’t just give us OnlyFangs, a website where subscribers can meet and be bitten/fed on by a beautiful vampire. It gives us the reaction to it, in a very realistic, satirical scenario, being discussed openly on several podcasts. It even leads to other women wanting to join and expand the brand!
Not everyone is on board with the concept, however, leading to conflicts and new and old enemies being revealed. The finale does pull out all the stops for some decent gore and prosthetics, making for a satisfying conclusion.
THE VERDICT:
The prologue undersells what is to come, and it could easily be removed, or perhaps re-edited as a flashback later in the film. I mentioned BIT earlier'; it had a similar idea but handled it much better.
However, once the film proper gets going, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The characters were engaging, the soundtrack was excellent and the script witty and satirical. This is definitely worth a look but do not expect much in the way of actual horror.